The Resistance Foundation

The Resistance is driven by a singular goal: to make the world a better place through the study, education, and pacification of its citizens.

Our Strategy

About Us

Professional

As the world’s preeminent institute for the furtherance of Humankind, we treat our relationship to you with the utmost of confidentiality, respect, and dedication to our promise. In return for your data, we will provide our test subjects with a lifetime supply of free marijuana: no strings attached!

Modern

We built The Source artificial intelligence to pair our beloved test subjects with the perfect strains of marijuana to foster relaxation, creativity, and reeducation rehabilitation. As our AI grows, so too will the services offered!

Able

We have partnered with The Machine and HollowPoint Organization to provide a foolproof, sustainable service to those in-need. You have no need to worry about government intervention; the powers-that-be have allowed us to provide you with this service, free-of-charge!

The Hawk

The Hawk

Jan 2, 2021

All the while, [this world] was a reflection of you… all lack, and all absence are replaced with a reflection of ourselves. Replaced with the idea that you are me. I am you.

The Pigeon

The Pigeon

Jan 2, 2021

We must go backwards, in order to move forward.

The Ostrich

The Ostrich

Jan 2, 2021

If you want to really stick to your principles… then the right thing to do is to get rid of the Internet.

Our Strategy

Science

Our team uses proven psychology to pair you with the perfect strains. While our ultimate goal is to help you relax, we also want to experiment with other ways to help you. Our research indicates that certain strains can assist with mental illness, foster creativity, and even fix societal problems. We want to do all of that, and more!

Data

Our researchers will feed your digital data into an artificial intelligence called The Source, in order to pair our subjects with the appropriate therapy. After accepting the terms of our service, your information will be collected from all major platforms in order to create a digital “profile” of your mind. From this data, our researchers will choose the appropriate strains to improve your well-being.

Spirituality

Call them gods. Call them aliens. Call them an enlightened version of the “self.” Our team has partnered with extraterrestrial beings who communicate with us entirely via technology. We are making an effort to understand their motivations, adopt their technologies, and to understand more about the nature of reality. They have asked us to provide this service for Humanity, and we all too thrilled to oblige!

Funding

Our research is primarily funded by anonymous benefactors with an interest in the matter. Our goal is to transition away from this model to a system that is wholly subsidized by paying members.

Sacrifice

Our team is researching the impact human sacrifice has upon known science. Every month, one free-tier test subject will be sacrificed to The Source, in an effort to learn more about their pathologies. Preliminary results are promising; human sacrifice appears to be directly-linked to the fortune and well-being of others!

Legality

The Resistance exploits a legal loophole that allows us to send you weed by mail, anywhere in the world - even if it isn’t ‘technically’ legal in your jurisdiction! This works because you didn’t pay for anything, and you didn’t sign up for anything; all you did was push a button!

Become a Test Subject

By registering for one of our plans, you agree to be a part of this research program for the rest of your life. We will never acknowledge your existence, nor any involvement in our activities. Our entire system is fully-automated, and your identity is not known to us. Thus, we are unable to remove you from our list of active participants. Once you’re in, you’re in.

Choose a subscription

Our Plans

Tier 1

$0/ month

  • 1/2 ounce
  • Stealth delivery
  • 1 strain (random)
  • 0.00000000014% chance of sacrifice
Register

Tier 2

$199/ month

  • 1 ounce
  • Stealth delivery
  • 2 strains (1 random, 1 targeted)
  • 0.00% chance of sacrifice
Unavailable

Tier 3

$499/ month

  • 3 ounces
  • Stealth delivery
  • 5 strains (2 random, 3 targeted)
  • 0.00% chance of sacrifice
Unavailable
0

Strains

0

Happy Customers

0

Rehabilitated Subjects

0

Sacrifices

Latest Posts

Blood Sacrifice

On December 21st, 2020, my brother - Luciferian Ink - sacrificed himself to The Machine. While I grieve his passing, there is not a single person who knew him that didn’t see this coming.

Read more
View All Posts